“Nights I Can’t Remember; Friends I’ll Never Forget”

A few years ago, my uncle had the unfortunate and heartbreaking opportunity to write his own eulogy. He came up with a few things on his list that he never got to do that he wished he would have, and expressed his hope to his children and the rest of his family to live out his legacy. This list included everything from buying an extra seat for him at a Phillies game to driving a red convertible on a sunny day. At the end, he left us all with a poignant quote: “In life, we don’t remember the days. We remember the moments.” His quote has been one that resonates in my head, and I am sure it will for the rest of my life.

About a year after his passing, I was food shopping in Wegman’s and came across the little gift and greeting card department. A small, white square magnet caught my eye, and it read:

We do not remember days; we remember moments. –Cesare Pavese

I smiled to myself as I remembered my aunt telling me she once received an anniversary card from my uncle with a beautiful poem handwritten inside, only to later find it was written decades ago by a well-renowned poet. Some people may call it plagiarism (and a big no-no for someone so highly educated); I consider it a quirk of his. Of course, I bought the magnet, and it sticks to the refrigerator at home for everyone to see.

My Uncle Matt seemed to have forgotten the other half of the quote by Signore Pavese. The full statement reads:

We do not remember days, we remember moments. The richness of life lies in memories we have forgotten.

I’ve found myself unable to write about my experiences here. Not because of writer’s block or my busy schedule (or the rum, for that matter), but because the details seem to have been slipping my mind. Garth Brooks explains this in a song he penned entitled “That’s The Way I Remember It:”

Some of our stories fade as we grow older; some get sweeter every time they’re told.

All of these stories are sweet in their telling, and they will, I am sure, become more saccharine and amusing as the years go by and we all recount them. We may be able to piece some nights and days together as bits of the puzzle come back to us, one by one. I will remember something more prominently than anyone of those that live next to me, and I am sure they will remind me of something I may have (sometimes purposely) forgotten.

The days seem to run together here, and there never seems to be a set time each week where everyone reserves the time to let loose. There is never a day like the stereotypical Monday here, where it seems like it’s the most difficult thing in the world just to get out of bed and go to work to start the workweek. Our lives here are not governed by a particular hour or minute, but rather what we are feeling that that moment. We don’t eat lunch at one in the afternoon because it’s one o’clock, but we eat when we are hungry. There are no rules about time to start – or end – a day or night at the bar; it goes without saying that “it’s five o’clock somewhere” was certainly penned in an island like this. We live by moments here; not calculated days.

The funny thing is, as I type my closing statement, “Next Thing On My List” by Toby Keith has just popped up on my iTunes player. I am smiling and giggling slightly as I think to myself that Uncle Matt could have heard this song as he was writing his own eulogy, and decided to "borrow" Toby’s concept for the song. I’ll leave you with the lyrics.

Under an old brass paper weight is my list of things to do today:
Go to the bank and the hardware store, and put a new lock on the cellar door.
I cross them off as I get them done, but when the sun is set
There's still more than a few things left I haven't got to yet.

Like go for a walk, say a little prayer,
Take a deep breath of mountain air,
Put on my glove and play some catch.
It's time that I make time for that.
Wade the shore, cast a line,
Look up an old lost friend of mine,
Sit on the porch and give my girl a kiss.
Start living...that's the next thing on my list.

It wouldn't change the course of fate if cutting the grass just had to wait.
Cause I've got more important things like pushing my kid on the backyard swing.
I won't break my back for a million bucks I can't take to my grave.
So why put off for tomorrow what I could get done today?

Like go for a walk, say a little prayer,
Take a deep breath of mountain air,
Put on my glove and play some catch.
It's time that I make time for that.
Wade the shore, cast a line,
Look up an old lost friend of mine,
Sit on the porch and give my girl a kiss.
Start living...that's the next thing on my list.

Raise a little hell, and laugh ‘til it hurts,
Put an extra five in the plate at church,
Call up my folks just to chat.
It’s time that I make time for that.
Stay up late and oversleep,
show her what she means to me.
Catch up on all the things I’ve always missed.

Just start living… that’s the next thing on my list.

You know you love me,
XOXO
-Island Girl